Random Thoughts 10-27-2006

Well it's rant time again....
Andy Milonakis- How does this fat little bastard have his own show on MTV2 if he isnt funny? Maybe it's a sign that Im getting older that I find him verry unfunny.
George Bush- How ironic that a couple of weeks before election that he finally admits that things might not be going as well in Iraq as he has been saying. Well duh you Texas two steppin redneck son of a bitch...You finally realized that Iraq is one big cluster fuck?
Rush Limbaugh- Hey you fat pain pill addicted asshole....I have shakes to that I cant control and get worse from time to time...why dont you come make fun of me to my face you fat slob!!
Ann Coulter- Come on woman....just admit you like it rough and you will be all the happier for it.
Hillary Clinton- So if elected are you going to be hiring young male interns?
Karl Dorrell (UCLA Head Coach)- A QB sneak on 4th and 1 inside your own 40 in the 2nd Quarter with all 11 Irish in the box? Are you a fuckin idiot or what? I wouldnt do that shit on my PS2!
Lost- 6 shows and then a 13 week hiatus? Thats like getting a bj and she stops just before climax and says she will be back tomorrow to finish...
Madonna- So fucking what if she adopted and African baby....most of the people lambasting her probably have never even dropped a dime in those charity collections at 7-11!!
Kevin Federline- Why?
Janet Jackson- Appearing half nude on a half dozen magazines will not make your album sell better. You want your album to sell better? Include a second disc in which you explain why your brother is such a freak.
Rob Zombie- He's going to direct a remake of Halloween....he's about to show these amateurs how its really done. Anybody seen Devils Rejects? Fucken awesome!
Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes- Who gives a flying fuck???
Al Davis/Fidel Castro- Which one will die first? Im hoping Al.
Tony Snow-(Whitehouse Spokesman) So how far up George Bush's ass are you exactly? Can you see what he had for dinner?
George Bush/Dick Cheney- Well here's proof that Bush and Dick dont always go together!
Cocaine Energy Drink- Thats just stupid...how long did you think it would take before people raised a fuss?

Sex vs Violence

Why is violence more acceptable than sex on TV and in the movies?  A movie like Hostel where people get eyes cut out of sockets and other torturous acts get "R" ratings. Yet the minute a movie just shows the nether regions of a female or a male they want to slap an NC-17 rating on it. Cutting a foot off with a hacksaw= "R" rating....oral sex= NC 17?? Our society is more afraid of sex than it is of violence. Remember the hailstorm Janet Jackson's boob set off a few years ago? Even the President of The US chimed in on that one....he said it was so offensive. One boob did all of that!! Im just thinking out loud....dont mind me!

Why the hell? (9-27-2006)

Why the hell does somebody say "This tastes like shit....try it"??
Why the hell do doughnut shops sell diet coke?
Why the hell do the police always catch you fucking up....but not the guy in front of me hauling a fridge, 4 washer and dryers and a dishwasher in his 1980's Toyota Pick Up that is sagging in the middle?

Who the hell decided that cutting a Krispy Kreme dougnut in half and placing a chicken patty in the middle with honey, cheese and a secret sauce was a good idea?
Who the hell was the frist guy who actually said.."Hey this Carrot Top fellow is pretty damn funny?"
Who the hell created the Bureau of Tobacco and Firearms?
Why the hell are Fidel Castro and Al Davis still alive?
Who the hell actually thinks George Bush is an intelligent man?
Why the hell is another Rocky movie coming out?
Why the hell did they make Rocky 5?
Why the hell didnt Gary Coleman win for Governor of California?
Why the hell do people care if Gay people get married...I am not Gay so I do not care!!
Why the hell do we make such a big deal about nudity but not about violence?
Yanni....why the hell do people buy this crap?
Why the hell are old women shopping at Forever 21?
Why the hell are there 2 Starbucks right across the street from one another in Pasadena

My Birthday (8-27-2006)

This past weekend was my 35th Birthday...on Saturday my buddy Tim comes and picks me up and we head for Hooters on Hollywood Blvd. I goto the restroom and when I come back I sat down and after a couple of minutes my waitress (who looks like Beyonce) takes my hand and then says..."attention attention....its Ronalds birthday...then she proceeds to places a paper cup in my mouth and two plates in my hands...evidently I am now The Hooters Mascot hootie....and I must dance around and hoot as they sing to me. After that...I sit back down and my waitress asks if I want to see her sidekick and she proceeds to kick me in the ass....kind of hard too (yes I liked it).

We leave Hooters and Tim asks what now? I said lets look for the Playboy Mansion...Im a subscriber to the magazine and the cyber club...the least Hugh can do is say hi. I had no idea that the Mansion was just above UCLA....so my buddy and I were cruising Bel Air looking for it....as we were heading back to Sunset Blvd a Silver Convertible Pulls up alongside and my buddy looks over and says to me...who is that? I look over and it hits me right away....Thats New Kid on the Block and Surreal Life Star...Jordan Knight. I roll down the window and just said....whats up Jordan?...he gave me a thumbs up and drove away...(No Im not Gay)

We head on down PCH...past LAX and head into Santa Monica where some dude literally stumbled out of a bar..with his arms flapping and falls flat on his face...damn that shit was funny!! We drive on and see several movie star type trailers...we pull up alongside and ask the security guard (Who looks 90) whats going on and he says that Pirates of the Carribean is being filmed in the harbor. He says he is there to keep fans from stealing Johnny Depp's hairbrush and other personal items.

We wound up in Redondo at some bar and danced with some honey's there....even had a b-day kiss from a lovely lady. We left and headed back for the lovely Inland Empire...

Happy 35th to me!!

Random Thoughts (4-27-2006)

Celebrity Cookoff- What the fuck was this shit and where the hell did they dust Alan Thicke off from? I f I want to watch people who cant cook..cook....Id just walk over to Bakers Square
Playstation 3 comes out in November so if I usually buy you Christmas gifts....expect a card this year.
If any Playboy Playmates happen to scan my profile....for the love of God just send me one invite to the mansion!! Please...I swear Ill behave!
Hey Red States...thanks for reelecting a guy who is in the back pockets of most of the oil companies.
Anybody see the last Dateline? They caught even more idiots trying to have sex with underage minors....some of these guys even drove 2 hours and across stateline....fucking idiots!!
Pepsi or Coke? Dr Pepper anyday for me
24, Lost, Prison Break, The Office and My name is Earl---I swear TV is so much better than movies nowadays!
Richard Ramirez, Charles Manson and Scott Peterson all still get 3 square meals a day and get to watch TV. While some Vietnam Vets live on Skid Row because they cant get VA benefits without an address!!
Ok ok....I know wrestling is fake...but its entertaining nonetheless!
emo music and barking dogs sound a lot alike
George Bush really really sucks!
Like I said these are just random thoughts...but they are my thoughts nonetheless!!

Attention all Myspace sexual predators...(2-10-2006)

Dear pervert/asshole/registered jack ass
If you are reading this than you must be one of those idiots I have been reading about in the papers and seeing on the news. You know the registered sex offending dirt bag who is lurking on here for only one purpose....luring some poor unsuspecting kid into your scumbag hands. Now hear this you fucking loser....I am going to make it my mission to see if I can weed some of you jack asses out and also to warn the kids on here of losers such as yourself.
Who am I? Lets just say Im somebody who hates scum such as you....I troll the Megans Law page looking for asses like yourself...just like you troll Myspace looking for whatever it is your sickened mind looks for. You know that Dateline special where the police in Riverside rounded up a few of your buddies...I enjoyed every minute of that show...because we got to see the faces of some of your friends as they got carted away.
In closing pervert let me just say that kids were not put on this earth for your sexual gratification....they should be aloud to grow up without having to fear people such as yourself, but in the mean time I am going to make it my mission to make your looking on here harder.
Have a Nice Day Scumbag

Staples Center Parking (1-29-2006)

Let me tell you about my day....My boss calls me last night and tells me we have free LA Avenger tickets (Arena football) for the Staples Center in L.A. Im thinking wow thats cool I have never been to an Arena football game this will be some fun. After getting to work I leave for the game with four kids in tow at 1230PM...kickoff was at 1230 pm. Now im thinking I might make it for the 2nd quarter if I break some laws...Im thinking we will make it on time. Getting to Staples Center I have my first shock....some genious in his infinite wisdom has decided to dig up the huge parking lot in front of Staples and build theaters and restaraunts.....now the question in my head is..."Where the fuck am I going to park??" Adjacent to Staples is The LA Convention Center which is hosting a bridal show and a boat show.....now Im thinking Im really fucked now...good luck finding a spot.
After driving around and trying to get into several full lots....one of my kids says he can see the game on TV. I look up and notice that its the 3rd quarter already and theres 5 minutes left....thats when I notice the only available lot....and these jack asses want $20 for me to park there....are you out of your fucking mind?? Fuck that...so I take my 4 kids who all have adhd and did wonderful...hell they were more patient than me...and we goto Nickel Nickel video arcade and make the most of it...
To the morons who decided to rip up the huge lot in front of Staples.....yo can kiss my white ass!!

Cuba and Fidel Castro (1-20-2006)

Since 1959 our country has engaged in a war of wills with Cuba and it's communist dictator Fidel Castro. Before I go any further with this blog...let me preface this by saying Fidel sucks!! But 47 years of an embargo against Cuba and what? Fidel and his government have outlasted JFK, LBJ, Nixon, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, Bush II....he has outlasted them all and is still thumbibg his nose at us. I think it's high time we rethink our strategy with him.
Instead of isolating him...we do the opposite. We open up to his country....allow Americans to travel to Cuba or communicate with Cubans. In time the Cuban people will see how the other half live and want this for themselves also it's another country we can do business with...
In the late 80's The USSR opened it's doors to tourism....and guess what Americans went. Once the people of the USSR saw how Americans really were...they to wanted some of that freedom. By 1990 Most of Eastern Europe had opened up the Iron Curtain!!

My Day (12-23-2005)

Im not one to seek attention for good deeds...seeing as how I strongly believe in karma, I believe all good deeds get repaid somehow someway.  Today as Im riding the bus back from Montclair mall to Claremont, the driver suddenly slams on his brake I was able to brace myself but a heavyset man seated in his wheelchair wasnt so lucky. For whatever reason he wasnt strapped in and he fell out of his wheelchair...and hard. Myself, an older gentleman and another guy jumped to his aid. Between the 3 of us and the bus driver we managed to get him back into his wheel chair. The guy had to have been close to 300lbs! Plus he was paralyzed in his left leg and was unable to give us any leverage. After we helped him I noticed blood on the ground just as the bus got to the bus stop...turned out he opened up a pretty deep gash in his leg. Now get this...the bus had no first aid kit!! what the fuck??? How can a mode of transportation used by the public not have a first aid kit in the event of an accident or what happened today? Thinking quickly I ran inside a bike shop next to the bus stop and was able to get a bandage and some gloves...and given that I have First Aid Training from the Red Cross...I was able to apply pressure to his wound until the paramedics arrived. The bus driver did nothing but call his supervisor who in turn called the paramedics....nobody else on the bus lifted a finger...many were preturbed that they were being inconvenienced by the situation. I helped him because it was the right thing to do....if these people had been in his situation they wouldve wanted some help as well.

Guy rules

GUY RULES:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!



1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself !!

 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

 If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle...
 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

You have enough clothes.

 You have too many shoes.

 I am in shape.
Round is a shape.

 Thank you for reading this.
 .

Bush and the Reagan Library (10-21-2005)

So Im flipping channels and I come across the dedication of The Air Force One exhibit at the Reagan Library in Simi Valley. Reagan was by far one of the greatest presidents ever...he was the reason I became a Republican. Then the reason I stopped being a Republican begins talking.  George W. speaks of Reagan's accomplishments and then compares the war on terror to the cold war with the communists and then just talks about the war on terror.
Hello....did I miss somethig I thought this was a dedication at the "Reagan"  library, not that idiot Bush justifying the war in Iraq.  Was it too much to talk about a man who was 100 times the President Bush is. Rather than talk about the accomplishments of Reagan...Bush sought to improve his own image. Let me tell you something Bush....In the 80's a country called Libya was committing terroristic acts against western interests.  Reagan sent a couple of bombs up Qadhafi's ass and I do believe they were never heard from until recently when he approached the west in a friendly manner.
Bush is by far one of the worst Presidents of the 20th Centuries and week after week he provides me more ammunition for my opinion.

Republicans and Democrats both suck (10-14-2005)

For too long Democrats and Republicans have run roughshod over this country.  Either you are labeled liberal or conservative...democrat or republican...but what people dont realize is that both parties are just two sides of the same coin.  Right now Republicans are being investigated for wrongdoing...6 years ago the Democrats were underseige from the Republicans. When one party is in control the other party spends all of their time figuring out how to debate the other instead of finding common ground and making this country a better place.  All the while they are just distracting the public from the real issues.

In some states they are debating whether or not to legalize gay marriage/unions. Why are we wasting tax payers money debating a non issue? In most of the states involved with this issue drugs are rampant in the streets...child abuse continues...gangs are spreading their filth...schools are overcrowded and underfunded...and we are unprepared for the next major disaster that will hit. But Tom Delay, Karl Rove and Bill Frisk are more important then kids being kept in cages in Ohio and the Social Department that allowed that to happen or our soldiers not having the best equipment to properly deal with Iraq/Afghanistan.  Remember the soldier who asked Donald Rumsfeld about our shoddy armored humvees? Most people have forgotten because our government is more concerned with talking about steroids in sports.

What we need is Common sense...but as long as we continue to be brainwashed by the corporate ran media and our elected politicians....they will continue to do whatever their hearts desire.

Responsibility and Political Correctness

Growing up in the 70's my favorite cartoon was always Bugs Bunny/Road Runner. I would laugh when Coyote would blow himself up or fall off of a cliff...or when Bugs and Daffy would fight over whether it was Duck or Rabbit season and then Daffy always got his bill shot off by a shot gun! Then when the cartoons were over my friends and I would go outside and play sports or get this....chase each other with toy guns!!  You know back when parents actually taught their kids right from wrong and an occasional spanking was called for and it wasnt child abuse!
Nowadays when kids shoot up a school do the parents say that there kids did bad and accept the responsibility for what happened? NO!! They want to blame whatever is on TV and in the movies.  When I was a kid I saw Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street....did It make me want to kill people?? NO!! I am sick and tired of the blame being shifted from where it belongs...in the lap of the people who are fucking up!!  If you go out and shoot people...it is not the fault of the video game you played.....it's your fucking fault asshole!!  You picked up the gun....you pulled the damn trigger!! Its your fault!! Parents...it's your fault for using the tv as a baby sitter....when I was a kid my parents made sure I was outside exercising not vegging my life away on a couch...

Bush and Hurricane Katrina from 9-15-2005

Well the idiot finally came out and admitted the Government screwed up huh...and there are still Bush supporters out there saying it's not his fault....well let's come up with a list of why Bush is an idiot...

1.  24 Hours after Katrina hit Bush was still on vacation in Texas and his staff was wondering how to tell the president that he should go back to Washington.
2. Bush was not watching any information regarding Katrina, as a matter of fact one of his aides compiled a DVD for him to watch on Air Force One that detailed the destruction.
3. The State and Local Governments were overwhelmed, FEMA was not up to the task and the military could not act without the president's consent and Rumsfeld opposed sending in active duty troops as cops.
4. Cheney kept his ass in Wyoming and kept in contact by videoconference.
5. When Bush was told that the levee had broke he continued about his day and accepted a gift guitar at an appearance he made in the day. Souns like when he was reading a book to kids during 9/11 huh?
6. In 1965 the day after a Hurricane hit New Orleans LBJ was in the city visiting a shelter. WIth no electricity he holds a light to his face and said Im the President of the United States Im here to help you". 40 years later rather than hurry to New Orleans, Bush flies to DC first.
Thank you Red States for voting for this man....oh and democrats....Kerry and Gore?? Im so hoping you come up with somebody better in 2008.

To the kids who survived the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Tsunami Warning 6/16/2005

The other day here in California we had a 7.0 earthquake off of the coast of Northern California, which led to a tsunami warning. Now lets analyze just how stupid people really are. After the tsunami warning...which covered beaches from the Mexican border all the way to Oregon...people actually went to the beach to see if one came ashore. Another lady called 911 and asked if it was practice and whether she should take her cats with her...now mind you the warning stated that they had 20 minutes to evacuate...and this lady is wondering what exactly is meant by higher ground! This just goes to show how ignorant some people truly are....werent people paying attention a few months ago to Indonesia?  I wish to God that stupidity was painful!

Summertime (6-3-2005)

Here we are....my favorite time of year...Summer!!! Sure it's hot as hell, but here in Cali we just head down to one of our polluted beaches and make a day of it. You know where the L.A and Santa Ana Rivers dump all of our runoff! You know that runoff Im talking about...all the gunk we dump in the gutters, trash, grass clippings, animal droppings etc. That stuff! So the next time you are in the water and wonder why you can't see your feet on the bottom....thank the guy in El Monte who dumped his paint thinner into the gutter, or the guy in Upland who thinks his oil goes into the sewer....Good going people!

The Pope (4-1-2005)

Let me start by saying I am not catholic and Im by no means a religious man. Pope John Paul II was one of the most remarkable men in the world, he did more to promote World Peace, help the poor, and even helped to hasten the end of communism, he went to Jerusalem and visited a Palestinian refugee, he established relations between the vatican and jewish people. In a world full of hate, violence, oppression, dictatorships, famines and bigotry The Pope was a man of compassion, love and calm in a world of turmoil....a human like him comes along once in a lifetime!!

Why (3-26-2005)

Why do men beat their wives and then say they do it because they love them? Why do courts continue to return kids to their abusive parents? Why do people smoke cigarettes and then sue the cigarette companies because they now have lung cancer? Why does our government continue to lie to us for the reasons of invading Iraq and why do we continue to accept these lies? You notice Bush never even mentions WMDS anymore. Why do people who get fat sue McDonalds because they are fat? Why do people blame video games and violent movies for kids commiting violence in schools? I grew up watching Wile E. Coyote blowing himself up....Irons hitting Tom in Tom and Jerry....Popeye solving his issues by fighting and I came out ok. Could it be I accepted all responsibility for who I was? Why do people still drink and drive? Why in the richest country in the world do people still go without adequate medical care? Why are people so concerned with gay marriage, but not with domestic violence?

My brush with death in 2005

Last week (2/25) having dinner at Macaroni Grill, I suddenly became very warm, I looked up thinking I was under a heat lamp, but when I asked my friend if she was hot, she said my eyes were bloodshot. I excused myself to goto the restroom along the way I became very dizzy. Once in the restroom I thought Id splash some water on my face to see if I could cool down...after that everything becomes a blur. I somehow wound up on the floor of the restroom, I remember somebody asking if I was ok...I said no, somehow I got up and exited the restroom and then I must have passed out again...I was having a hard time breathing, I was burning up....I was in bad shape. It seemed like an eternity to me, 911 was called and from what my friend said, the paramedics arrived in less than 8 minutes, but to me it was an eternity. I arrived at the hospital in what I found out later was critical condition....I had tubes in my arms and was still having a hard time breathing. When my eyes finally opened I saw my friend and I could see she was scared. Eventually I improved, but had to be admitted into the hospital for tests to find out why this happened...after cat scans, heart and lung tests....they still didnt have an answer....other than my potassium and magnesium was low...my blood sugar was so high when I came in they asked if I was diabetic, which Im not. I left the hospital on Sunday and have to follow up with a neurosurgeon in March......I hope all is well